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March 29th, 2009:

Birth Trauma

As published on the Essential Baby website http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/parenting/baby/birth-trauma-20081013-4zm2.html?page=-1

For further information, contact Melissa Maimann at Essential Birth Consulting.

October 13, 2008

birth traumabirth trauma

 
Birth trauma can affect any woman who has given birth. Although it is experienced by many women, most women do not talk about it and many may not even know they have it. This silence does nothing to help women move past their trauma; it is my hope that this article will help you along the path to recovery.

What is Birth Trauma?
Birth trauma is a normal reaction to events in labour and birth that you perceive as being scary, out-of-control, helpless, or painful. Birth trauma can result from pregnancy, birth or even during the postnatal period. The woman’s response may be one of intense fear, helplessness or horror. Sometimes the events trigger memories of earlier trauma that remain unresolved. Symptoms might not emerge for many months after the birth, or even later, when you plan for the birth of your next baby. 

How will I know if I have Birth Trauma?
The symptoms of birth trauma are many and varied. A common theme is that the trauma interferes with your enjoyment of daily life. The trauma issues may surface at different times, and then completely disappear. Some women experience:

• Flashbacks of the event and sudden, vivid memories. You will usually feel distressed, anxious or panicky when you’re exposed to things that remind you of the event

• Avoidance of anything that reminds you of the event. Some women never talk about their births or avoid hospitals. In contrast, other women talk about their birth trauma all the time; this is their way of expressing their extreme hurt, anger and fear.

• You may also experience emotions such as anger, irritability, and hyper-vigilance (feeling jumpy or on-guard all the time)

• Nightmares of the birth

• Physiological responses when you are exposed to events resembling the traumatic event, such as panic attacks, sweating and palpitations

• Numbed emotions

What causes it?
Most of the causes of Birth Trauma can be avoided or lessened considerably by those looking after the woman, through simple measures such as understanding the woman’s needs and expectations and providing sensitive care in response. This is where continuity of care programs offered by midwives really benefit women! Explanations need to be provided before interventions are carried out, and your permission needs to be sought before any treatment, procedure or examination takes place in order for you to feel respected and safe. Women also have a role to play in clearly communicating their needs and expectations to their care providers. One way to do this is through a birth plan.

There is no standard cause of Birth Trauma. Some experiences than can result in birth trauma include:

• Traumatic birth – eg episiotomy, caesarean, forceps, a baby who was injured during birth
• Emergency situations, including caesarean section
• Lack of pain relief when pain relief has been requested
• Impersonal treatment
• Loss of control over the experience, or the perception that your wishes were not respected
• Being cared for by strangers
• Invasive procedures such as vaginal examinations, episiotomy, stitches
• Separation from your baby
• Feelings of loss of control - eg an induction that you did not want to have, a caesarean for a breech baby when you wanted a vaginal birth etc
• Invasive procedures without explanation or your permission
• Forceps delivery or suturing without adequate pain relief
• Post Partum Haemorrhage

Treatment Options for Birth Trauma
During your path to recovery, you will need a few helpers along the way. A trusted friend or relative can help enormously – someone who knows you well, understands what it’s like to be you, and who accepts you. They need to be empathic and non-judgmental. 

Some women see professionals to help them recover, such as psychologists and midwives. Psychologists are educated to provide therapy for people who have experienced trauma and they provide excellent services for as long as you need them. Independent midwives have usually studied counselling as part of their education, and they have the added bonus of knowing about pregnancy and birth. 

Family and friends can help too – for example, babysitting while you get some sleep or time out from your baby / toddler. Some women like to talk to other women who have experienced birth trauma as this helps them to see that they are not alone. Sharing experiences is very healing and allows you to gain perspective and validation about what has happened.

During these times, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. Remember to eat well and get some daily exercise. This will do wonders for encouraging a restful sleep and high energy levels during the day. Limit caffeine, sugar and salt, and tuck into veges, fruit and whole grains. Balance this with fish, chicken, eggs, nuts and seeds, and you have a recipe for health! 

Natural therapies can help a lot – therapies to try include yoga, massage, reflexology, aromatherapy, homoeopathy, naturopathy and yoga.

Journaling is a great exercise; some women also draw. This gives the added bonus of being able to use colour and “left brain” action to express yourself. When you’re journaling, you might want to record your birth story. Some women write it a few times. You might like to write your birth story from your perspective, then from the perspective of your baby, partner, midwife or doctor, and so on. When you’re writing about your experience, pay attention to any feelings that come up for you as you write. Notice how writing makes you feel in your body. As you write your story, you may begin to discover more clearly which events are particularly hard for you to deal with, or to clarify your emotions.

Read books or articles on birth trauma.

Some women also like to write a letter to their care providers (no need to post it), as this helps to express their emotions in a safe way. Other women explore the option of writing a formal complaint to the hospital or Health Care Complaints Commission.

Another option is to obtain a copy of your medical record. Simply contact the hospital medical records department or the Patient Representative. A fee may apply for this service.  Once you have a copy, it’s a good idea to go through your record with a professional such as a GP, midwife or obstetrician who can interpret all the “medical-speak” for you and help you to make sense of the notes. This exercise can go a long way to answering the “why?” for you.

In the end
There is a positive end for all women who have experienced birth trauma. The personal growth that this event affords you, the insight into your values and beliefs, and the journey of healing are all very positive outcomes that can help you move forward in all ways in your life. 

Advice for pregnant women
So, what can you do to avoid birth trauma? There are many things you can do!

• Be assertive about your needs.  Change your care provider if you need to; ask for help; research your options from a wide variety of sources
• Explore what sort of birth experience you would like and then set about finding a care provider who will support you in achieving this
• Write a birth plan so that your care providers know your preferences
• Consider home birth as this will allow you more control over the experience
• Get help early if you need it
• Consider what you will need in order to feel safe during your pregnancy, labour and birth

Melissa Maimann, Essential Birth Consulting.

Women’s Experience of Miscarriage

As published on the Essential Baby website http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/parenting/pregnancy/womens-experience-of-miscarriage-20081111-5m5v.html?page=-1

  • November 11, 2008

 
For further information, contact Melissa Maimann at Essential Birth Consulting.

The experience of miscarriage is often misunderstood by women’s friends, families and the medical community, causing feelings of isolation, frustration and fear.

When Essential Baby asked me to write an article on miscarriage, I found several resources that addressed the medical side of miscarriage, but few resources that explored the emotional issues. In this article, I will not elaborate on the medical issues surrounding miscarriage: whether a woman has a 1% chance of miscarriage or a 50% chance of miscarriage is of little consequence when she has just discovered there is no heart beat. What she really needs in that moment is an empathic ear, validation of her experience, to be listened to and to be treated with compassion.

The emotional experience of miscarriage
Miscarriage can be a frightening and lonely experience. Your loss might have been so sudden that there was no way to prepare for it.  Or you might have suspected for a while that something was wrong. Or you may not have wanted to admit that this pregnancy just felt different to your others.   

Whatever your circumstances, there are many emotions surrounding miscarriage such as disbelief, anger, shock, confusion and a deep sense of loss and grief. These feelings come and go, with different intensities. You have some good days and some bad days.  But whatever your experience, you are not alone!

After a miscarriage, you grieve for a baby you never knew, and for a relationship that will never be. Your baby is a baby from the moment you find out you are pregnant. You grieve for the experiences you will not have – discovering what your baby looks like, what sort of personality she has, or how it feels to cuddle him. As Lia, an Essential Baby member found, “To us, this is a loss of life.  A life that was very much wanted, even if not planned. Women have already developed a bond with their baby, they’ve made plans, got hopes and dreams, just like any other new or expectant [mother].”

Women react differently to the experience of miscarriage. You might accept what has happened and look at it philosophically, or you might feel devastated. You might be feeling numb and be in denial that it has happened. Or you might feel guilty because you were unsure if you wanted to be pregnant, or you had a drink or smoked a cigarette. There is no wrong or right way to grieve.

Physically, you might be constantly tired, yet have difficulty sleeping. Some women cannot eat, while others eat constantly, trying to numb their raging emotions. 

For Nicole, an Essential Baby member, “the breaking point was when I found out it was a girl and that there was no obvious reason for her not making it.” Rebecca feels that “I don’t think that I will ever heal.” Miscarriage is such a profound experience and women deal with it in many different ways. “I just wanted to be pregnant straight away, to take away the pain,” Donna, Essential Baby member.

In contrast, Debra says, “I don’t think I really grieved that much. Perhaps deep down I knew it was going to happen. All my dreams had gone out the window and then I started to think of all the things I did that could have caused the miscarriage. We fell pregnant again… I didn’t feel confident from day one although I tried to tell myself everything was ok. I started bleeding at 6 weeks and knew it was all over again. I was much more upset this time. I cried and cried and cried. The first time it happened, I thought, we can do it again, it’s ok. The second time, I thought, so we can conceive, what if I’m never able to carry full term?”

Women who experience miscarriage and then go on to have pregnancies to full term often experience the pregnancy with disbelief and a lack of attachment to their baby. It wasn’t until about seven months that I admitted to myself I may be having a baby and started enjoying the experience. The innocence of a pregnancy is gone, at least until [you] and are safely past that week [that you lost your baby].

Men and miscarriage
Men and women grieve differently and each person’s emotions can seem foreign to each other. Some feel that their partner does not understand them and this can be hurtful and isolating. For some men, the dominant emotion is powerlessness ‘ they feel powerless to protect their partner and powerless over the events that have taken place. What can happen when someone feels powerless is that they sometimes react with anger and withdrawal.

Lia’s husband felt that the emphasis is placed on the woman, whereas men grieve too: “they were his babies that were gone!” Lia’s husband felt helpless watching her go through that pain. “No-one really acknowledged how badly he was affected.”

Melissa Maimann, Essential Birth Consulting.